Why being an LGBTQ+ Ally matters

The other day I was listening to a podcast talking about Esther McVey, the Minister for Common Sense (god help us!) wanting to ban rainbow lanyards from the Civil Service. 

As it is Pride month in June I thought I would say why the rainbow lanyard (and those who wear them) are so important. 

Seeing allies show their support is a huge relief for LGBTQ+ people because it can be bloody scary being out. And anyone who shows the rainbow colours makes you feel just a little bit protected, more secure in yourself and not have to think about whether you need to keep a significant part of yourself quiet. You feel safe to be your authentic self.

Is it really all that scary though? Haven’t you had a pretty decent time of it since you came out?

Actually I have been extremely fortunate, I have an amazingly supportive family and friends, and my coming out was actually my falling in love with a woman who provided me nothing but love and protection as I learnt to accept I wasn’t heterosexual. But there were times of pure terror, admitting it to myself for a start was one of them. The reason for this terror? Because sadly we still live in a world that wants us to be ‘normal’ (read cis heterosexual), and when you aren’t, there can be judgement, prejudice, discrimination, and even bullying. 

The LGBTQ+ community often uses the phrase being your authentic self and it might seem a bit of an odd expression. But, have you ever had to pause in mid conversation to check yourself in case you let slip that you are in a same sex relationship and it might make the other person uncomfortable? And then you have to start hiding parts of your personal life that others might ordinarily just share because you don’t know how others will react, or if it will have negative implications for you and your work? That’s exhausting. Constantly hiding your identity takes a toll. Imagine never being able to fully share your life experiences. And quite frankly, no one is going to be doing their best work when they are anxious, tired or even scared. We just want to live authentically for ourselves without fear of others’ reactions.

So why is allyship important? Because it is you, the non LGBTQ+ peeps, that help provide a safe space for those of us who don’t live a heteronormal life. Allyship helps create a more inclusive world for everyone. So please, show your rainbow colours - let the world know that you actively support your friends and colleagues to be exactly who they are, in every conceivable form and that you will do everything you can to make them feel safe, respected and heard. 

If this post makes you feel uncomfortable, at least you admit that. Please try to examine why it does. Do you need to unlearn your bias because we all have bias, conscious or not, that we have learned from an early age, it doesn’t mean we should keep hold of it. We can all learn to embrace a world of colours.